used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
