my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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