You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
