I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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