i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize