Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
