im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
