how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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