i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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