He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
