No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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