if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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