i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
