If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
