ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She bit a glass in half.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
