remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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