My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
