Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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