Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize