Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
