We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
