porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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