You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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