Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Alive.
So much puke
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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