Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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