Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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