If i come over, it means nothing
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
