her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it đ
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I should have known it wouldnât work. Someone saved in her phone as âSubway Sexâ called the week before the wedding
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