This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
