Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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