What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
