Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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