your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
