is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
