Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
