cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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