It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
