Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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