Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
