We won't sleep together?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
