My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
