I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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