so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize