never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize