just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
