Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
