wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
