Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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