Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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