Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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