im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
