She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize