please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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