Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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