is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
