Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
