I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
