Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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