How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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