You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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